My Life In the Midst of a Change..

Why does life have to be almost as difficult as it is in my head when everything goes wrong? To be honest nothing is wrong.. yet! Thats the problem though.. Ethan, my best friend in the whole world, the person i share everything with, the only person that gets me completely and still loves me, the most amazing man in the world, the hardest worker ever, the best thing thats ever happened to me.. And yet he is leaving for two WHOLE years for a LDS Mission. Kennewick, Washington will be lucky to have him in their area.. while im home sitting around waiting for the time to pass..! He got his call December 7, 2011 Wednesday! It finally somewhat sunk into me but not quite.. I cried on the phone with him for about an hour thinking about when he will leave. I cant imagine him being gone away from me. I thought moving to college 2 hours away was hard.. turns out this will be worse! WAY WORSE! Not having my best friend there to talk to, to hold, to hug, to kiss, to sit in silence with. Since when did my life decide to screw with me and run past me as fast as possible before i can stand up and make a stand on my own?! Before i actually get a say in what happens?? Good thing i have so many good friends around me now.. All my life through high school i never felt secure with a good group of a girl friends.. coming to college i realize i can have friends just like everyone else. Genny and Jordan i know will be there right beside me holding me up when i wont be able to hold myself up anymore. Taylor i know will give me all the support she can to give me to get me standing again on my own two feet. My parents.. oh where do i start! Ive been tough lately and i know it.. Im sorry and i will try to change! A lot is changing in my life and im not sure how to cope with it.. i know your help will always be there.. Mom your helping hand is always reaching out strong waiting for me to catch on.. Dad i know you would do anything in the world to keep me happy and healthy. I know that for a fact that you would do anything for me and im so grateful for the knowledge of know that that! I dont know how i would go along with my life if i didnt know you guys were standing there right behind me following my every step making sure i do whats right! Sometimes i feel like i need more help.. and i know i will need more once March comes around and once Ethan actually leaves. I have so many people in my life standing there supporting me in my every need and i couldnt have been more blessed with the people i surround myself with! I know that being here was a blessing in disguise and that things could be way worse. But im blessed and i know it! I need to show it and make sure that others know that im blessed and grateful for it. Finals are finally approaching.. well not approaching its here as in this week.. Want to be home so bad i can hardly stand it! I miss Ethan and My family and Ethans family and my room and everything about my town.. Turns out i do love it there maybe a little too much! Christmas and Christmas Break with my family couldnt have come at a better time in my life.. life is quickly changing and the only thing in my life that is sturdy is my family.. which i am so glad to be a part of! Yes changes happen in my family but i know that it will always be for the best! I havent been this emotion in a way long time! It feels good to finally connect with my emotions! Thanks to everyone in my life whether it be good or bad.. you made me who i am today and for that i am grateful for! Peace and Blessings:)♥♥

What's New..? Probably This!

Wow definitely been a long time! Well what is new? Probably this! Ha well school has been going by so fast! I cant believe that this semester is almost freaking over! Happy and weirded out at the same time! Love that its going by though! I love it.. well the social part but the school part.. not so much! Ha i find sleeping so much more appealing then sitting in a boring cold classroom only dreaming to be back in bed or at lunch with my friends! Turns out... I have the best friends ever! They are so amazing and make my college experience what it is! Cant help but thank them for making things so much better up here! Ha we have way too much fun.. it should seriously be a crime! No joke!:) We just have too much and people.. well they are jealous thats for dang sure!:):) Haha! Love them so much!!
Well as for work.. that is probably my favorite part of the days! I work with elementary children and gosh it is so rewarding! I now know what my siblings were talking about.. being the best job in the world! It truly is and im so glad im a part of it! The kids i could just wrap them up and take them home with me! They are so sweet and innocent its the best!:) I cant even imagine what I would do now without them and their hilarious stories and the funny and sweet things they say! Its the best.. HANDS DOWN!!:)
College i swear just gets better and better each day! How is that possible, you might ask? Well.. here.. I will tell you! The stories, the people, the lessons, the work, the weather, the colors, everything! I am so glad that I chose Utah State! BYU has nothing on us! Because the parties, the assignments, the people are far better than BYU could ever have!! Ha its sad how amazing we are!!! Proud of my new school.. yeah you could say HECK YEAH!! I love it! Wouldnt change anything well besides that fact that Ethan is not here but.. maybe its good for me to get a good group of girl friends before he leaves..! And believe me they are the best group of girl friends a girl could ask for!:)

Jordan, Genny, Emily (in the back hahaha), and I:)

My roomate.. wow where do i start! Haha!! She makes me laugh so hard.. Ha I know we were supposed to be roomates.. its like it was just planned before! How cheesy that sounds its so true! I love how we act together! Ha it was rough at the beginning but wow there couldnt be a better roomate for me! Ha we both try to be so nice and good to each other because we dont want to make the other mad which makes our relationship so much better! Ha so its safe to say.. yes I love her!:) I love Jordan, Genny, and Emily! Roomates next year.. YES PLEASE!!:):) Ha we would be the best group ever! Everyone would love us.. we just laugh about everything!:) Gosh our conversations.. they are great..! Ha we were talking about getting a tv show because we all know people would watch that and be so entertained by our adventures! Ha The Hills have nothing on us!:):) I love being part of this amazing group! Couldnt ask for better.. now everyone else has to settle because I have the best of friends!:)
I need to write in here more often.. it feels so great to talk about these things!:) And its a form of writing.. My English teacher would be so proud ha!:)
Well its 3 and I have class.. Write soon!:) Night!

Where The Fun Begins..

Alright.. well once i posted the one about having no friends i finally went and hung out with some and it was awesome! i went out with genny and we were going to go play football with random guys when we saw guys on our floor writing on our friends white board. we said hey what are you guys doing and they were like um.. uhh going down the elevator so they hurried and ran down to go down the elevator with us... we were just walking around when they invited us to go to the place.. both genny and i were like um.. well yeah okay so we went up and hung out we decided to go with this one kid eric to go outside the cemetary and scare people so he brought it silly string and we ran down there and put our hoods on and chilled on the sidewalk silly stringing runners walkers bikers anyone walking by.. it was seriously the funniest thing ever! the next night we went to dinner with a couple of her friends and a friend of mine and we went to this pretty boring meeting then left to go do something awesome.. we all got in our comfy clothes to go watch a sweet movie, i bought the other day at the book store, down in the basement so we went down there and of course the one time we go down there to go do something this is a ton of people doing stuff and had it reserved until 9 so we were like okay we have to go to the boys basement we went over there and there were even more people over there so we went back outside and we decided to throw little rocks at my window with my roomate in there and scare her so we did and we were laughing so hard.. she heard us call for her creepily and so she stuck her head out and was talking to us.. then we had nothing to do so we got my window crayons and started writing on peoples windows and put gennys friends number on those guys window that we hung out the other day.. hahaha they texted him and was like texting him calling him sexy until he found out it wasnt us haha he found us and was kinda upset hahaha oh that was so funny so we just ran around doing crazy stuff then decided to go back to the dorm and we found just hung out.. jordan my roomate was skyping with one of her friends so we all started talking to him until like hmm about 1.. then jordan brittany and i started talking and we didnt go to bed until close to 3.. it was pretty awesome.. now im off to bear lake this weekend so it should be a good time.. 2 frat parties tonight.. bear lake after.. football game when we get back gosh i cant wait it is going to be freaking awesome! i cant wait.. oh i love the weekend.. yes!! i love college! its so far a good time!!

What Now?

Well like everyone now.. blogging is the "cool" thing to do! So I decided to give it a try since im at college doing new things. well not so much me doing anything new or fun. how come everyone already found a friend and doing things but here i am at school hardly doing anything because i havent found any friends yet?! I was told "Oh gosh, people will love you in college!" but.. in reality.. it doesnt seem like they do. im just another face in the crowd trying to break through and be able to be me! when will i be able to do fun things and go out with friends. i thought college would be better, that theres no such things as cliques and groups but so far thats all there is here and i havent been able to get into one. guess its just part of life, part of my life, of how im going to get out there and be me with other friends being them. only the first two weeks i suppose things can change! looking for the positive side of college!