My Life In the Midst of a Change..

Why does life have to be almost as difficult as it is in my head when everything goes wrong? To be honest nothing is wrong.. yet! Thats the problem though.. Ethan, my best friend in the whole world, the person i share everything with, the only person that gets me completely and still loves me, the most amazing man in the world, the hardest worker ever, the best thing thats ever happened to me.. And yet he is leaving for two WHOLE years for a LDS Mission. Kennewick, Washington will be lucky to have him in their area.. while im home sitting around waiting for the time to pass..! He got his call December 7, 2011 Wednesday! It finally somewhat sunk into me but not quite.. I cried on the phone with him for about an hour thinking about when he will leave. I cant imagine him being gone away from me. I thought moving to college 2 hours away was hard.. turns out this will be worse! WAY WORSE! Not having my best friend there to talk to, to hold, to hug, to kiss, to sit in silence with. Since when did my life decide to screw with me and run past me as fast as possible before i can stand up and make a stand on my own?! Before i actually get a say in what happens?? Good thing i have so many good friends around me now.. All my life through high school i never felt secure with a good group of a girl friends.. coming to college i realize i can have friends just like everyone else. Genny and Jordan i know will be there right beside me holding me up when i wont be able to hold myself up anymore. Taylor i know will give me all the support she can to give me to get me standing again on my own two feet. My parents.. oh where do i start! Ive been tough lately and i know it.. Im sorry and i will try to change! A lot is changing in my life and im not sure how to cope with it.. i know your help will always be there.. Mom your helping hand is always reaching out strong waiting for me to catch on.. Dad i know you would do anything in the world to keep me happy and healthy. I know that for a fact that you would do anything for me and im so grateful for the knowledge of know that that! I dont know how i would go along with my life if i didnt know you guys were standing there right behind me following my every step making sure i do whats right! Sometimes i feel like i need more help.. and i know i will need more once March comes around and once Ethan actually leaves. I have so many people in my life standing there supporting me in my every need and i couldnt have been more blessed with the people i surround myself with! I know that being here was a blessing in disguise and that things could be way worse. But im blessed and i know it! I need to show it and make sure that others know that im blessed and grateful for it. Finals are finally approaching.. well not approaching its here as in this week.. Want to be home so bad i can hardly stand it! I miss Ethan and My family and Ethans family and my room and everything about my town.. Turns out i do love it there maybe a little too much! Christmas and Christmas Break with my family couldnt have come at a better time in my life.. life is quickly changing and the only thing in my life that is sturdy is my family.. which i am so glad to be a part of! Yes changes happen in my family but i know that it will always be for the best! I havent been this emotion in a way long time! It feels good to finally connect with my emotions! Thanks to everyone in my life whether it be good or bad.. you made me who i am today and for that i am grateful for! Peace and Blessings:)♥♥